Unsolicited advice is the bane of humanity, it’s true. Worse yet is advice that is just totally wrong for you. After all, one size does not fit all, and try as you might, forcing that square-pegged advice into your round-holed life (double entendre unintended) will just lead to discomfiture and possibly disaster.
Here are some nuggets of sex advice thrust at us by well-meaning (or not) folk that you just should not listen to:
Have LOTS of sex for a happy relationship
You’ve heard about how the happiness of your relationship is incumbent on your sexual frequency. You’ve been told that if you haven’t had sex in a while, your relationship is in dire straits. This is all just plain misinformation that puts undue pressure on your sex life. The truth is, as long as you’re happy with how much sex you’re having (and don’t compare it to the supposed sexual frequency of others), that’s all that matters. In fact, studies have shown that once a week is the ideal frequency. However, if you prefer having more or less sex than that, that’s your prerogative and there isn’t anything unhealthy about it. Have however much or little sex you want. As long as you’re happy, it’s all good.
If you don’t orgasm during sex, you’re doing something wrong
Sure, it’s great to climax, but for a large section of women, it is clitoral stimulation that leads to an orgasm and not vaginal or anal sex. Did you know that one-third of woman experience discomfort or pain during intercourse rather than pleasure? And that the G-spot isn’t everything it’s made out to be? So the innumerable articles that pop up across your newsfeed about earth-shattering orgasms should be taken with a pinch of salt. Indulge in clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Use lubricant if you experience pain during vaginal or anal intercourse, and visit a gynaec for solicited, professional advice.
If you have a fetish, you’re a pervert
Erm, no. Fetishes aren’t perverse. If having your man wear your thong during foreplay turns you on and he doesn’t mind indulging you, the signals are all green and there’s nothing unnatural or perverse about it. Go with whatever floats your boat, as long as you and your partner are sailing happily together. BDSM, threesomes, anal, etc—if you’re both okay with it, it’s all good.
Wait till date #3 to have sex
We’ve all heard this rule. Don’t hop into bed with him until you’ve gone on three dates with him. But why let some universal rule decide when you want to jump the gun on sex? If you want to get physical after one date, that’s your call. Or if you want to wait till more than three dates, you do you, girl.
Using sex toys = bad sex life
There’s a common notion that adding sex toys to your lovemaking session means that you aren’t good at sex or need to rely on external factors. This is completely untrue since using vibrators or other toys has nothing to do with your sexual prowess, and in fact, makes sex better, helping the two of you bond more too. So, don’t be shy to experiment and get naughty!